Tuesday, June 23, 2009

“I’m not crazy; I’m just a little unwell…”

I just got back from this psychology class that I am taking at the community college for the spring semester. Today we covered abnormal psychology which was, well, odd. It kind of freaks me out. It's not that I don't have sympathy for the people who suffer from those mental conditions, it's just that I am so near the brink of insanity myself that it frightens me to see into that distorted world. One good thing about it, though, is that after hearing of these crazy behaviors I am thankful that I am pretty normal. I mean, really, what do I have to complain about? My life is pretty great. Yes, it's filled with uncertainty, doubt, worry, perfectionism…things I need to work through and deal with…but it is also filled with wonderful, happy things. Like my family, my faith, my imagination, the beautiful things of life, and how blessed I am overall to have a safe, clean home and plenty food to eat. I have so many gifts and talents; we all do. I just need to focus on cultivating those talents instead of counting my flaws and problems. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at that. But I know that each day that life is getting better. Because God is with me, with you, with all of us, every moment of our lives. I know that this sounds terribly cliché, but have you ever really thought about what that means? I try to sometimes but it's just way too big for me to understand. But sometimes I just feel a sense of peace knowing He is here, always. I so glad!

What does all of this have to do with psychology, though? Well, it just reminds me of my 'issues.' I'm hesitant to share those things because a) it's personal and probably really boring to most people, b) I don't know how open I should be on here, since it is the Internet and all, and c) what would it accomplish? If it would help someone, sure, I would share, but I don't want to just sound like I'm moaning about my problems. I'll just have to pray about it and see the direction that things take with this blog. Despite the abovementioned hesitations, I really have no probably sharing that stuff. I just want to make sure it's the right thing to do. Oh, and just to appease your curiosity 'it' isn't that exciting, juicy, shocking, or scandalous. I don't have any skeletons in my closet, or anything.

This post's title is a reference to the Matchbox 20 song "I'm Not Crazy."(Frankly, I don't even understand that song. It just popped into my head and seemed fairly fitting to the content of this post.) Oh, and if you wish to hear the song you can listen to it on YouTube.